Monday, October 30, 2017

Family Devotions 2017

Family Devotions hit me hard today. I'll just copy it below to make referencing easier:

Day 3 Devotion to God's Word
(this is the 3rd day in a row we've read Deut. 6:4-9)
Explain the truth of Deut. 6:6-9:
Since we love God by keeping His commands, we need to know what God has commanded. So if you love God, you will also love God's word, because it shows you how to love God. God's word must be in your heart, which means it should be at the center of your thoughts & desires (6:6). God's word is so important that it is the most important thing for your parents to teach you (6:7a). Teaching children to love God is like chiseling God's word on granite.
(This part silently crushed me because I had a total mom-tantrum/breakdown the day before that resulted in me sobbing in my hotel bathroom, then sitting in the outside hall questioning my very resolve to keep homeschooling, followed by apathetically going through the motions of continuing family devotions at the tearful, repentant pleading of my strong-willed firstborn whose grumbling, whining, & disrespect was the catalyst for said mom-tantrum.)  It is tiring work, and your parents must be consistent and patient. (yeah epically failing that last part!)But their hard work is worth it if (and this is the part that hit me like a TON OF BRICKS that I'll elaborate on why later) God's word becomes permanently imprinted on your heart, so that you love God and find life in Him. Then, like your parents, you will speak God's word all the time (Yeah... about that) and in every aspect of life (6:7b). This is because your words show what is in your heart (Matt. 12:34). If you love God, you will strive to make God's word the thing that controls your actions (hands), thoughts (foreheads), homes (doorposts), and community (gates) (6:8-9).
Ask
1. Why does Moses talk about God's word right after the command to love God? Because God's word helps our hearts love God and shows us how to love God.
2. Where should we keep God's word? In our hearts. That means we understand God's word, love God's word, and obey God's word.
3. What is your parents' most important job? To teach God's word to their children very diligently.
4. Since words show what is in your heart, what should your speech be like? We should be talking about God's word all the time, everywhere, in all sorts of activities.
Discuss
1. What are some ways your parents teach you God's word? How can you encourage them as they do this?
2. Do God's words come out of you? Make a list of ordinary activities where you can speak God's word.

The last 2 sections (Ask & Discuss) really got me thinking about how my own parents instilled the Word of God into my heart. I didn't start AWANAs until I was in 6th Grade -almost a teenager! But I already had a firm grip on the books of the Bible, many key memory verses, basic Christian principles were already deeply planted in my heart & mind... and yet the only memories I can muster of actually actively learning those things are a book/tape series of the Fruit of the Spirit; going to Sunday School every single Sunday of my life (& nothing really stuck out as particularly memorable), and family reading/devotions time...
In so many ways, "my" faith was secured long before I even had time to question it... and when I finally did, my foundation was so rock-solid & irrefutably backed by all my (short) life experience (17 years), I've only been strengthened in The Faith of Jesus Christ.

I think that if my parents did anything supremely well in my life: they were consistent about what was truly important. Both of them. Today, I think I FULLY grasped the gravity of intentionally & consistently "instructing my children in the way they should go." My oldest isn't getting any younger & there are waaaay to many influences I've had to counteract/explain and she hasn't even reached her double digits yet!

I'm horridly remorseful over how many missed opportunities & lost chances to 'start' this spiritual disciplining & training -rather than simply dropping them off at Sunday School once a week & having "emergency" conversations due to internet or peer exposure to "life" issues or worldviews. :-/

I'm gravely humbled by the enormity of the responsibility & task of planting God's word into their minds & hearts deeper than YouTube, DisneyChannel, the newest toy fads, & tv shows with subtle (or not so subtle) secular, worldly adult agendas & themes.
I am made more and more aware of just how "old school" & "conservative" & "traditional" I am at my core. Even moreso than my husband... a risk even he might not understand with giving me the task of homeschooling our kids. Asking the traditionally schooled woman who LOVED her private school experiences & thrived in the academically high-pressured culture of college to all of a sudden be "free" & "creative" with my instructing of her children... I've realized that I've needed to own this seaons of family life as a direct assignment of God or I'll resent my husband waaaaay more than he ever deserved.

All that to say that this experiment -or God-assignment, as I'm training my brain to see it- of teaching my grade school kids at home is going to break me, in probably all the RIGHT ways:
I am prideful. -Homeschool brings me to my knees with every little sour, rude, grumpy, disrespectful, apathetic, & (frankly put) bitchy attitude my kids seem to effortlessly breathe out.
I am impatient. -Homeschool slaps sense into me when I realize I can't just scream, pout, whine-cry, or run away from "my" little humans who so skillfully test & light my "short fuse."
I am insecure. -Homeschool keeps reminding me of how much I don't remember from my school-days & that it is OKAY. Also that, unless I want to raise brain-smart hermits or socially inept leeches on society that despise me, the charge falls squarely on MY shoulders to get them out of the house to try new things; meet & actually interact & even befriend perfect strangers; learn skills I don't know; and "put yourself out there" in general.
I am judgmental. -Homeschool takes the wind out any sort of "haughty" attitude or truly arrogant mindset. I have to learn how to counteract it with my other tendency...
I overthink & constantly second-guess everything. -Homeschooling forces me to "keep moving forward" and that any failure HAS TO result in forward motion & alternative options or I'll just sink into self-pity & the dreadful sin of apathy.

I think I've written enough for me to chew on for now.... I'm sure there will be more sooner than later.