Thursday, March 29, 2012

Wake-up Calls

This morning was a slow one. It wasn't for lack of sleep on my part. In fact, I woke up with a jarring start because my 2 yr. old accidentally turned on her lullaby music on full volume. :-p The hubby on the other hand was "dead to the world" from working late the night before.  Me, being the "morning person", was awake but still in bed fb-ing like I do every morning.

It's always just a tad amusing to watch my hubby wake up. His alarm goes off at the same time every weekday. He always hits the snooze a minimum of twice before he even attempts to ask me when I woke up or what I've been doing since I woke up. For the few years we've been married, it's always been a challenge for me to let him sleep in -or stay up late for that matter. At night, I'll drop hints about how late it is or what responsibilities he has the early the next morning. ;-) In the morning, I'll actively snuggle, massage, or kiss him to wake up -usually unsuccessfully. :-/ In fact, it's usually more effective to abruptly stop the affection & become engrossed in something else (like my iPhone) that somehow shakes a layer of sleeping dust out of his head.

Today, I was... okay, I'll admit it: lazy.

I had no intentions of quickly getting the day started like I had 2 mornings before when I had forgot to put the trash out -even though I LOVED the results of that earlier morning.
Then the piercing, annoying house alarm went off. :-p
The previous tenant of our townhouse were a dual-income couple with school-aged kids and apparently all left the house by 7:30AM -when their house alarm automatically sets itself. We've never taken the time to un-set it and forget this almost every time we take the dog out to the yard to do her business. This morning my over-eager, already-dressed-in-princess-attire, almost-4-year-old child decided to open the deck sliding glass door to enjoy the sunshine.  >_<

"Now she should be awake & cured of her laziness!"

One would assume this statement, but sadly, not in this case. :-/ I got the child a bowl of frosted mini-wheats then hurried up to my bed & got cozy again. :-p Since the hubby doesn't have class until 9AM & the extension campus he attends his only 10min. away, I simply wasn't concerned.

...but I had stopped looking at the clock by this time.

Motherhood called again & I got up to get the 2 yr old changed & dressed. Sometime during that task the hubby got up (probably because the dog followed me into our bedroom & excitedly kissed him until he was thoroughly awake). ;-) By the time I finally finished the changing/dressing task the dog had been taken out & the hubby was in the shower.... which is unusual since we usually shower together because of the dual shower heads & spacious size of the stand-up/sit down shower. I followed him in but he said that he couldn't talk & hurried out. He quickly took care of his toilet (teeth, hair, etc) & started dressing while I finished my shaving & started drying off. (This was all very accelerated & out of order from our regular routine.) I finally asked what time it was and he replied 8:35! Wow! Where had the time gone? I mentally assumed that that meant he was going to hop into his car & head off to school... so what did I do?

...went back to lazy, "slug" mode! :-p

Apparently 10 full minutes went by & I was stunned when the hubby opened the bedroom door to me still stark-naked asking where I had been! He'd been having cereal with the girls & even taken care of the dog's food.  A quick kiss later & he was down the stairs & driving off in his car.

That was when I "snapped out of it."

What had just happened?! I'm the type of personality that is like a computer. Only sleep will stop my brain from running (& even that isn't 100% effective). Where had my duty-filled, obligation-compulsive drive gone?! Well wherever it went, it gave me time to observe my husband in an entirely NEW light... and myself. My husband is a grown man. (Obvious, I know.) He is a man that has been getting himself up & out of bed for 20+ years. He is a man that has learned the painful importance of getting to things on time, if not early. He is a man that has been to BCT & AIT where lack of sleep is inevitable & still requires 100% of your energies & attention. Sure he likes to sleep in. Sure he's a "night-owl." BUT in the end, HE is the one responsible to get the sleep he needs & to get himself to the places he needs to be when he needs to be there. This rare morning showed me how much of these tasks of his that I'VE been mentally shouldering & taking responsibility for... and that I should NOT be.

This morning, my kids have also shown me that they are more capable than I give them credit for. The 2 yr old not only sweetly offered to help me sweep, she can successfully help with holding the dust pan while I sweep up the crumbs from her meals. And the almost-4-yr-old just announced that she took the dog out to go "poop & pee" in the back yard! She can be responsible to take the dog out in the mornings (since they both seem to beat us on getting up in the morning anyway).

I just have to remember to keep the house alarm remote close by. ;-)

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Praying Circles

Problem with blogs... er with me and my blogs: i forget that I have them. :-p I've been using tumblr for so many of my quick thoughts & keeping so many of my growing/building concepts to myself that I've forgotten that I have a place for developing and evolving ideas. 
We've made it to our new home across the country. He starts his new job with his new team tomorrow. We've found our new church family -ironically they have the same name as the one we had to leave. 
I am constantly debating taking up some part-time work (when & where). 
Schooling or just some classes for my almost 4 yr old?
Potty-training the 2 1/2 yr old starting tomorrow. 
Learning to "keep" my own home -all three floors of it! 
Trying to make friends & figure out what "kind" of mom I am.
Struggling with "who I am" & how to "be" right now.
Battling complacency & aimlessness.
Scared of being yet staying in my "comfort zones".
Frustrated but fearful for my brother's mental state of being.
Excitement over family visiting in the summer!
Planning the 4 yr old's b-day party.
Cleaning & organizing our bedroom.
Wrestling fatigue & inner demons (re-read my last post).
Knowing what to "pray circles" about based on our new Pastor's message today.
How this 21-day fast challenge is actually going to work-out.
The Hunger Games. book & movie.
Kony 2012.
Election primaries & caucuses. 

I don't know why I didn't have a clue what to pray for this morning! Oh the blinders of the evil one are so slimy & seductive... I KNOW that when I'm too comfortable & content, that snake has me just where he wants me: ready to steal, kill, & destroy all the blessings & potential God has worked so hard for in us, in me! I'm still baffled at what He could possibly do with, much less through me. I keep getting in the way. But here are my prayer requests to demand God's-will in:

The DEFEAT of my pride & self-righteous anger for 1.
The freedom & faith of my husband.
The discernment & education of my children.
The clear revelation of direction & purpose for our family & marriage.

He didn't just answer my prayers for an awesome job for my husband, simply for us to stay at home, accumulate stuff, & be comfortable the rest of our lives, with the occasional ministry at church or Bible study. 
He didn't just uproot us from our location of choice to a foreign land with no family, simply to show us we are self-sufficient & fully capable on our own. 
He didn't just hand write the last 2 years of our lives simply to hand the pen & paper "back into our capable hands." :-p
He didn't provide us a home bigger than almost anyone we have met since we moved here or an income so large that I can even consider staying home or working "just to have my own spending cash" just because we deserved it or even because we worked for it....

there has to be a bigger reason. my spirit knows this. it's been trying to tell me this for some time now. this is the first time i've stopped my busy mind to actually think some of these things through. life can't just be about me. i don't even know of anything i could find, do, or buy that would actually keep me happy forever -except my Creator. And He tells me that I was created for HIS glory & purpose; for HIS enjoyment & praise. 
Yeah. I think I'll end with that.