Friday, April 29, 2011

Leaving and Cleaving

One thing that I must say I've learned WELL during this time of living with family. When God said that a man (and woman) are to leave their parents and cleave to one another -it was MEANT to be that way. It is a GOOD thing to have your own house and home as a married couple. I'm not saying that a couple can't still learn from their parents, but in many ways it allows each couple (the parents and the children) to see each other from more objective views... the physical proximity and the challenge of authority and values in the home are not there to threaten the relationship. Again, I'm not saying that the parents no longer have authority over their offspring, but it allows the adult children the freedom to see and learn from their parents as other couples can... not with the expectations of the immediate obedience of a child, but the carefully weighed, loving consideration of an adult gleaning from those who have gone on before and learned lessons that life brings.
My time of living with family has taken me a long time to learn some things. I've been a poor example to my children about respecting other people's time, rest, space, and belongings.  While I really just wanted them to feel relaxed and free to express themselves without fear, I've excused too many things and lost my temper when situations could have been prevented. Just waiting to to asked to help isn't acceptable from someone who considers themselves a child of God. I was trained to work hard and to serve others... but the one thing that I struggle with is initiative.
Cleaning up when it's not my mess and wasn't asked.
Being forthright in my needs and expectations, but also considering, without getting offended or "touchy" about conflicts or differences or others' expectations is constructive to relationships.
Taking care of my things better raises my care of other peoples' belongings (this also applies to time and rest/space).
There are others but these are the ones that have really "hit home" and didn't want to forget.

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